the crumbs fall from your mouth
as you take the last bite.
the pastry tasted amazing, like you remembered.
you sit back in your chair,
close your eyes with a simple smile,
and let the memories rush back...
the colors are spinning around your eyes.
when you stop, the colors settle
into your surroundings.
you are 5 again
in your favorite field,
the ones with the buttercups you used to pick and bring home.
and your brother was there too.
he was 20 years old that day
and he said as a present to himself
he wanted to spend the whole day with you.
so you chose your safe place,
he had lifted you up and spun you around.
when he stopped, you both fell from dizziness.
you both laugh.
the laughs are pure
and are crafted from true enjoyment.
your brother didn't want you to know,
or maybe he thought you were too young to understand,
but he was dying.
he was slowly dying from a tumor in his brain
and he wasn't going to live to when it was your turn to be 20.
he took out the cookies he had brought in the picnic basket and tossed you one.
chocolate chip. your favorite.
you ate them with content in your heart.
as the crumbs fall
and you swipe them away,
you share a laugh.
the memories fade when you wipe a tear and sit foward again.
the tears had come
when you were remembering.
so as you sit,
eating the chocolate chip cookies
on your own 20th birthday,
you remember him.
he will not be forgotten.
if only he were still here today.